These people have put their name to their story. Respect their bravery. None of us know what bravery it took to do this.

This is the LinkedIn post that started this. It reached almost 32,000 members so you are not alone. If you want to share your experience of bullying, write to goodfencesgoodneighbours@gmail.com.

If we band togther, we can make a change. Change starts with me and with you.

Late last year, a friend who had been mercilessly bullied in her job for years left her two young children and a devoted husband.
As usual, she researched her subject well. She probably didn’t suffer. At her funeral, all of her colleagues attested to the fact that my friend and everyone with whom she worked was lovely and they were mostly correct.
One manager from another department had been bullying her mercilessly for at least two years. Her colleagues were aware the he was a manipulative individual but justified their loveliness with the statement
“Well, that’s just XXXX. He’s always been like that. You just have to work around him to get things done.”
Really?
XXXX was at the funeral and I quietly challenged him when all attention was on the coffin descending into the grave.
“I know what you did.”
In a moment that would have made a brilliant movie scene, he turned to me and momentarily shed his veneer of grief to smirk and whisper,
“Prove it.”
Two nearby mourners overheard the exchange and their eyes flickered in our direction, but they maintained a close scrutiny of the ruled kerbs of the opened grave.
My friend confided only in me so while I could prove that her private texts portrayed her anguish, I knew that the lovely people with whom she worked would probably not destroy their idyll by recognising the stygian void on which it was constructed.
I could not tell her husband what I knew The man now has to raise two girls and doesn’t need to deal with more anger than he already has. He doesn’t have a LinkedIn profile because his employer wouldn’t allow it so he won’t see this.

Cognitive dissonance: it’s not just for stupid or bad people.
The only way to stop bullies is to unite against them and speak the truth.

Don’t suffer in lonely silence: you only have to be strong once if there’s a crowd.
Don’t cowboy up. Remain a decent person.
Don’t let me down.