This site is now dedicated to exposing bullyinh behaviour in the workplace.

The best fence is a fence of friends. I hope that this site gives you company of like-minded souls who value honour and kindness over self-preservation at all costs.

Some stories are anonymous: some are not.

Don’t be alone. Share your experiences and we’ll try to fix things together. If you’ve been bullied, write to goodfencesgoodneighbours@gmail.com. I’ll publish your story here.

If you want to remain anonymous, just say so in the mail and I’ll give you a reference number by return mail. I’ll then delete your mail and empty the trash box. I’ll have no record of your details but you can keep track of your post by serching for it on here.

Small steps lead to a long trek. Make the first move by sharing and then the second move won’t be so difficult.

This is the LinkedIn post that started this. It reached almost 32,000 members so you are not alone. If you want to share your experience of bullying, write to goodfencesgoodneighbours@gmail.com.

If we band togther, we can make a change. Change starts with me and with you.

Late last year, a friend who had been mercilessly bullied in her job for years left her two young children and a devoted husband.
As usual, she researched her subject well. She probably didn’t suffer. At her funeral, all of her colleagues attested to the fact that my friend and everyone with whom she worked was lovely and they were mostly correct.
One manager from another department had been bullying her mercilessly for at least two years. Her colleagues were aware the he was a manipulative individual but justified their loveliness with the statement
“Well, that’s just XXXX. He’s always been like that. You just have to work around him to get things done.”
Really?
XXXX was at the funeral and I quietly challenged him when all attention was on the coffin descending into the grave.
“I know what you did.”
In a moment that would have made a brilliant movie scene, he turned to me and momentarily shed his veneer of grief to smirk and whisper,
“Prove it.”
Two nearby mourners overheard the exchange and their eyes flickered in our direction, but they maintained a close scrutiny of the ruled kerbs of the opened grave.
My friend confided only in me so while I could prove that her private texts portrayed her anguish, I knew that the lovely people with whom she worked would probably not destroy their idyll by recognising the stygian void on which it was constructed.
I could not tell her husband what I knew The man now has to raise two girls and doesn’t need to deal with more anger than he already has. He doesn’t have a LinkedIn profile because his employer wouldn’t allow it so he won’t see this.

Cognitive dissonance: it’s not just for stupid or bad people.
The only way to stop bullies is to unite against them and speak the truth.

Don’t suffer in lonely silence: you only have to be strong once if there’s a crowd.
Don’t cowboy up. Remain a decent person.
Don’t let me down.

Anonymous: Ref 132911

I’m no shrinking violet but the shock of this experience has left me with cars that won’t heal quickly.

I joined a company about six months ago. I’m a process engineer so my job involves back and forth with the production lines. There was a honeymoon period of about six weeks. After that, one production manager began to realise that getting things fixed involved letting me in to fix them and that took time so he didn’t agree with that. The trouble started when I had to come in early, unpaid, just to get access to try to fix things.

He was disrespectful beyond any experience that I have had (more than 20 years) and in hindsight, I realise that I should have spoken up then and recorded our conversations on my phone as evidence. It took about three months to get over the shock that he thought he could treat other humans in such an inhumane way.

I tried for an informal settlement with my management and his and was informed that he had caused trouble in the past and would have to be reined in. I took the offer of intercession at face value and let the matter go.

Three weeks later, another incident happened. I wondered whether to leave or file another complaint with my managers. I was still within my probation period and could be kicked out in a few seconds with little or no reason. I’ve seen that happen a few times. Given that the first promise of help seemed futile, I had little hope of getting any satisfaction with another. I swallowed my pride and walked away.

Three days after that, I was with a senior manager and the bully behaved extremely unprofessionally to both of us. The manager chose to point this out to me but did nothing.

I had had enough. I lodged a formal grievance. Not one of my witnesses claimed that they had seen anything. I miscalculated greatly. Every one of them had complained to me about the bully’s abuse but none was prepared to defend their rights.

I was offered mediation with the bully but was not allowed to have an independent witness. I refused the offer to keep what little self-respect I had left and pretty much begged to be moved to anywhere else.

This will happen but it’s too late.

My feelings may be biased but I consider the company to have chosen the bully over the person who actually cared about the product and who wanted to instil a sense of pride in the operators who built it. The wounds are still raw, so if I change my mind, I’ll update this and apologise.

I have to stay with the company because I have to pay the bills but I know quite a few young professional staff who’ve begun to look for other roles within the company that do not involve Operations or they’re looking outside the company. They will silently drift away.

I advise anyone who comes across an individual like this to prepare early.

Use your phone to record every conversation – companies may not allow the recording as evidence but courts certainly do.

BCC your personal email address on emails about problems you’re having.

Don’t react to the bully by becoming a thug. This cost me my self-respect but giving as good as I got would give the bully an advantage.

Don’t rely on your colleagues to back you up. Bullies tyrannize their entire circle so those who see the bullying probably tell themselves that their fear of the bully is actually self-preservation. Can you really blame people with bills for that attitude? I can’t.

I’m sad to say that if you’re being bullied, you’re on your own. Maybe putting these stories on here will do some good eventually.

I hope this isn’t the only mail.